Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.
–Jack Handey
An Onion News Video:
Congress Debates Merits Of The Word "pronk"
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
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Between the southern hills of Pittsburgh and your cup, lies a perilous journey for Nutz. It takes time to roast up a rich, aromatic batch of Nutz, and that is time well spent not doing other work. The smooth taste in Your Morning Cup of Nutz reminds you of all the underpaid, overworked people spending laborious hours, just so you can enjoy a Cup of Nutz in the morning. Your Morning Cup of Nutz will perk you up, and never leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Mmmmm.... refreshing.
Our Pledge:
One taste and you will know, A good cup of Nutz is worth waiting for. Brewed and served most days by noon, or else its free!