Going at it, right now?

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

–Jack Handey

Report: Someone Totally Doing It Somewhere Right Now

Scientific evidence proves that, in fact, someone is going at it right now. I'm willing to bet that it is not you. But if it is you, leave a comment about it before you're done, because that would be an impressive feat.

Tired at work?

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.
–Jack Handey

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Article: Nap Your Way to the Top



Unleash the power of the siesta: Sleeping at work makes employees happier, healthier, and more productive...

Man, I wish this was the case. Sleeping at work would land me in the unemployment line. Anyway...

Next time you caught sleeping at your desk, try telling one of these things to your boss:

1. They told me at the blood bank this might happen
2. This is that 15-minute power nap they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.
3. Whew. Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got there just in time!
4. I was not sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.
5. I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.
6. I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminating towards people who practice Yoga?
7. Why do you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.
8. The coffee machine is broken.
9. Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.
10. and in Jesus name Amen.