When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

–Jack Handey



Three Things to Ponder:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments


C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.


T H E T E N C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:

You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and
"Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.



LIFE is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty & well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming..."WOW! WHAT A RIDE!!!"

Happy Friday!

Since Friday is Nutz's day of rest and sushi, there will be no fresh Morning Cup of Nutz for you. Sorry, no really, I am. But if you keep this one in the fridge overnight, it will taste just as good tomorrow... Have a good weekend!

A video for your viewing pleasure:

My cousin, Davedays, made a music video about making out with his Miley Cyrus cardboard standee...


Other fun videos:


Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters Very true!



Suspicious Package Industry Falls On Hard Times

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Your Morning Pronk of Nutz?

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

–Jack Handey


An Onion News Video:


Congress Debates Merits Of The Word "pronk"